If you've ever quit drinking, you know what drastic life changes that will bring. The majority of your "friends" will cease to be your friends, and the small percentage of the remaining friends will slowly turn into such awkward relationships that they'll probably just fizzle out anyway. Very few friendships survive the test of sobriety. Those that do? Hang on to those. For a while after I quit drinking, I felt very self-conscious about what others thought of me. I've never been one to boldly declare, "I don't care what anybody thinks of me!" Because the truth is...I do. I think a lot of people say they don't care, but they do.
I remember trying to go to the bars still, as if to prove to myself and others that I could still be cool if I wasn't drinking. I could still hang out and drink my O'Doul's disguised in a pint glass. Bartender, hurry up and take the empty bottle! Hide the evidence that I'm not really drinking. I tried every excuse I could think of. Sometimes I felt like I nailed it. "Dude, I'm still hungover from last month/year..." as I would receive an empathetic look because "hungover" was something they could relate to. "I just decided to stop drinking..." was usually met with a record-scratch and a head-tilt, so I stopped using that one as much...although it's still fun to throw in here and there just to watch the reaction. Ah, and then there's the ones who feel threatened by my decision...as if somehow MY choice means that I'm better than them.
I finally stopped trying to explain. Nobody cares anyway. Drinkers don't want to hear that I don't drink anymore, no matter what the reason. People who have never really been drinkers don't really care to hear about it either because they don't get it. People who used to drink, but don't anymore, are automatically labeled alcoholics. I went to an AA meeting shortly after quitting, but I didn't belong there either. So, where do I fit in?
I remember trying to go to the bars still, as if to prove to myself and others that I could still be cool if I wasn't drinking. I could still hang out and drink my O'Doul's disguised in a pint glass. Bartender, hurry up and take the empty bottle! Hide the evidence that I'm not really drinking. I tried every excuse I could think of. Sometimes I felt like I nailed it. "Dude, I'm still hungover from last month/year..." as I would receive an empathetic look because "hungover" was something they could relate to. "I just decided to stop drinking..." was usually met with a record-scratch and a head-tilt, so I stopped using that one as much...although it's still fun to throw in here and there just to watch the reaction. Ah, and then there's the ones who feel threatened by my decision...as if somehow MY choice means that I'm better than them.
I finally stopped trying to explain. Nobody cares anyway. Drinkers don't want to hear that I don't drink anymore, no matter what the reason. People who have never really been drinkers don't really care to hear about it either because they don't get it. People who used to drink, but don't anymore, are automatically labeled alcoholics. I went to an AA meeting shortly after quitting, but I didn't belong there either. So, where do I fit in?